Friday, May 29, 2015

why are my eyes always bloodshot nowadays?

 bad eye makeup
lazy hair accessorizing
 necklace- shoptunnelvision.com
belt- chilhood
shirt - who knows
skirt- hand me down from brittany
jacket- thrifted
 beat up shoes jeffrey campbell
 where did this ring come from i love it so much
this was the best i could do today #bitchneedstosleepmore

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Tuesday, May 26, 2015

My pants smell soapy

 top bottom and jacket all from this amazzzing Goodwill 5 mins away from me that I just discovered
gem belt- ebay
chains- random closet chains
earrings from JBCgoods.com, my friend Natsuki's store, she's amazing check her out!

OK so I always thought Kendrick Lamar was good but never REALLY gave him a solid listen... That King Kunta song caught my attention because its sooo old school good, and so I dipped in with my *new* Spotify account and HOOOOLYYYY SHIIIIIT
I . LOVE . KENDRICK . LAMAR .
It may be initial excitement over finding someone new in hip hop who really really impresses me, but he's quickly rising to the top of my favorite artists lists... Wow. 
RN I'm listening to Pharcyde but I'm sure I'll wander back to Kendrick a few times by the end of the day. Dzamn!

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Sunday, April 5, 2015

I'll order the boots soon

 earrings - JBC GOODS www.jbcgoods.com
necklace - www.echoclubhouse.com
bandeau from a friend @ some point in highschool
Chanel jacket thrifted
skirt thrifted
belt ebay
Imagine I'm wearing this with cobalt blue PVC calf boots

 Isn't it weird that I have no necklaces and no rings and no nails?
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B agressive, B B agressive

Having some epitomes recently about self-representation.. I grew up acting and was often warned not to tell other actors or anyone on set what to do, you worry about your job and basically do whatever you're told to fulfill the vision for the play or project or whatever. You don't put your two cents in, you're there as a component of a larger vision that ultimately is not yours. Because of this, I've subconsciously maintained that mindset frequently when I participate in other people's projects - if I don't like my makeup or the music or the set up I just suck it up and do it because hey, this isn't my project, I'm just in it. Which seems logical and respectful and all, but ultimately in most-and not all- of the situations I'm in, it's unnecessary. I have good taste. People like and welcome my opinion so why so often do I feel pressured to withhold it? Who does that serve? I remember when I first started hanging out with one of my friends, Jessi, I went on a shoot with her and she went into the bathroom after they did her makeup and basically completely redid it herself... I was shocked- but looked a lot better. She didn't change the look, she just matched it to her skin tone better and improved shading on her eyes and such. No one was upset about it or even noticed, she felt loads better, and the photos looked great. This week I shot my friend Luna for NIN3 and after I edited the photos I sent them to her and she told me about some parts that I should fix, and I did, and they looked way better after that. I've never done that when someone shoots me, if I don't like the photos I kind of just put them out of my head and don't post them anywhere. Now I'm realizing, hey... I can do that too and it can be a win for everyone. I'm also trying to be even more selective with the projects I participate in. I need to take control of my image and all the creative aspects of my life - wether it's my project or not, if someone decided to include me, they probably want me to bring my whole self :K

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Tuesday, February 24, 2015

good 4 u

 jaquette- ebay
dress- thrifted
necklace- by tania from synchrodogs & top necklace by tunnel vision
earring- NIN3
shoes- harley davidson from ebay
im leaving to israel on saturday

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Thursday, February 19, 2015

i meant it

when i said I'd love you forever
tell me one more time

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Wednesday, February 18, 2015

O Captain, I Captain

 blazer-mom
collar- mom & sis got for me when they went to japan w/o me rude
top - thrifted
skirt- rose bowl
i forgot to take photos of my shoes aww. well, they're new. theyre velvetesque clunky 70esque blackmary jane big platforms.
Although I do believe I've found myself in LA and this is my home, I have for some time felt a bit lost in myself and confused, and I felt envy towards past versions of me even though I've perpetually felt that way, and I know that it's ridiculous because future me will think the same that present me thinks of past-me, so technically I am exactly the version of me that I wish to be, according to future-me. Anyways. I feel settled again. I mean, I never feel fully settled, but at least I feel like Sideara again. And I plan to preserve this feeling, and do with it everything that I can, which is to delve deeper into all of the passions I have and careers I am pursuing.

I'm about to leave to meet with someone about the video-lookbook for the dream NIN3 collection that almost exists. As per usual I am constantly reminding myself of essential rules and morals I taught myself right before high school, which can basically be summed up by "dgaf" and "do it for u". So I'm very excited to present a collection which core ideas will be just that.

And I'm excited to continue to grow and dgaf and do it for me and go at the pace that I am and know that no matter who is on board, I'm the captain of my own ship, so I'm going to continue to my destinations and enjoy the ocean breeze and all the whale sightings on the way.

 Feel me?

Love you.

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