skirt - mom socks- stolen from Canyon in highschool shoes-unif top-ebay vintage jacket-thrifted
I'm really trying to figure myself out.
That's a constant process.
It's always "this isn't enough"- so I think I'm going to hire a friend of mine to help manage me and what I'm doing and keep track and stay on track. At this point it's become overwhelming and I've become so slow and I think it's avoidable.
I'm trying to figure out what route I want to go with music, I get so much conflicting advice, I just want to learn the piano and take a songwriting class and get better and be able to get things out. But I'm being told I can't ignore the other side- the showing people the music side- and the only way I can write it is by putting all of that out of my mind. There are other things... Like the concept of having an image, a persona, which -don't we all have naturally ? I don't want to think about that stuff. I like to pretend that everything is perfect just the way it is. But I have to figure out the balance between me claiming that I don't want it to be about other people and just not wanting to put the work in. I don't know which is which sometimes. I want to be able to share my music, yes... But yeah, I want people to just like it. In whatever amounts they do or don't. But I guess if I want to make this a sustainable career I gotta play by the rules somewhat. I was just always counting on the rules bending for me, ha. Sigh. We'll see. The cool thing is that there are no wrong answers and in art when you fail you get to try again.
Ammerman Schlosberg Milk Made Blouse - Opening Ceremony
Pants- handmade by Devon & I in highschool
It's easier to stop being embarrassed about things you do
once you realize that you don't care much about the opinions of the people you embarrassed yourself in front of
Also 9x/10 nobody cared or noticed but you
My life is one long string of awkward interactions and embarrassing situations but I manage to get by
im having a self hatey morning but itll pass soon. I watched Palo Alto and I was like "ugh people are gross" but also "I prob wouldn't like him IRL but James Franco is hot"
The best part is when the kid drives down the road the wrong way and the cars part for him like the ocean.