Sunday, November 14, 2010

Switching from

I hope you made it alright to my new blog, its really stupid that piczo still hasn't fixed their problems. I've never used blogger so I'm not sure how this is going to work out but for now this is okay.

these photos are pretty overdue now, but here you go!

I'm getting really stressed out about college apps. I'm supposed to know now what I want to do for the rest of my life. i dont know! i want to keep being where i am now forever, i would love to be a junior again and not have to worry about any of this shit. not only am i lazy and just dont want to deal with it, but im afraid and i dont even want to think about it. sure, i've got choices. a lot of people dont have a clue what they want to do, i'm lucky to have three passions.. but how am I supposed to choose one major, decide which one i'm going to run with forever? Acting has been with me the longest, and i feel the most faithful to it because it was my first dream and i've wanted to act since i can remember, but it's also the one that's been the most absent in my life for the past four years. and thats really bad. then there's photography, but honestly it's going to kill me to be stuck on the other side of the lens. my dad suggests it'd be a great way to network, because i'd be taking photos of actresses or people like that, but the chances of something working out like that are slim, as are the chances i'd be taking photos of people like that not only because you have to be really good in the industry but because i dont think i'd even want to go in that direcion? No commercial shit for me, i'm happy taking weird artistic photos. i wont say i'm horrible at taking photos because of the feedback i've gotten but just because i can frame a photo doesn't mean i have complete understanding of a camera, there's still SO much i need to learn and haven't yet. then theres clothing design- the newest passion in my life. and i dont feel comfortable assuming it's going to be something i'll immensely enjoy forever. i just started thinking about that not that long ago, even was taking photos before I was thinking of that. I guess it was around the same time, but i've only just started really learning about it and taking action. I'm really lost with what to do. I signed myself up for an acting lesson with this really amazing coach and that's going down on wednesday.. So maybe if i meet up with him enough and i get confident with my acting again I can feel better about choosing it for a major... It sucks that every job I want is in an industry that is so hard to get into.

in other news, i'm in the process of re-watching all of the harry potter movies. and thats good shit.

also - i used to never get hate on my formspring. i understand haters gonna hate, but please. i'm fine with being nagged to post but dont be rude. and if you're "losing interest in me" is there really a need to tell me?

dear piczo, work properly. thanks


  1. You really just have to ignore the people behind negative comments, jealously is never an attractive trait! I read your blog regularly and always enjoy it! You really do have an amazing talent for photography which I wouldn't overlook as a future possible career..

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  3. First off: SO happy you're on here for a bit!
    Means I can comment for a change :D

    And I know what you're going through. All the careers I want to pursue are of the artistic variety, which, unfortunately, are not of the "stable-income" sort.
    But remember that if you don't like the job you do (or even the study you're doing) you can change it. Try something else.

    Anyway, you're a huge inspiration to me as of late, I just wanted to let you know I think you're incredibly creative, beautiful & talented! (:

    x Annie

  4. I had the same problem last year when I graduated from high school, what to do, what to do? It was a really big decison, I wanted to do something that I would like to do, not something I would end up hating or quitting. I stressed so much, and I applied to the program I'm doing now, last minute before deadlines... and I LOVE IT. It's what I wanted to do, it just took me a really long time to figure it out. Good luck. I'm positive you'll figure it out.

  5. lucy thank you, and i wont!

    @annie- its hard isnt it /: but its what we love so we should definitely pursue as best as we can!! and thank you so much!

    @exotic lies- whats the program youre doing?? whatever it is im so glad youve found it, what a great stroke of luck. and thanks :)

  6. sorry to ask but how do you make ur skeletal title for this blog. like the NIN3 in skeletons? xx

  7. its a font that i have, i didnt exactly make it i just typed it!

  8. I totally understand what you're getting at since I'm facing the exact same problems right now.
    Deciding between what I love and my passions and something safe. And everytime I think that I've figured something out I become insecure thinking: maybe it is what I love but does that neccessarily mean I'm good at it?