Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Brain Makeover

Im having a bit of a pre-life crisis... I'm doing so much but it seems I keep talking myself in circles, hitting the snooze button one too many times (just once is already too many times), feeling not entirely myself or that I dont know entirely what feeling entirely myself is, exactly. A good friend of mine helped me to realize that none of this will change until I realize my purpose. Why I'm here. Why I do what I do and why I'll continue to do it. Why I act, why I'm working on NIN3, photos, everything. There's some sort of purpose to it and I need to know what it is. I know I'm 19 and you're not supposed to figure this shit out for a while but I dont care, I need it now.


I'm able to be the most free when I forget about everyone else, but in the end whatever I do for my own therapy or what have you, I feel the most fulfilled or accomplished when I've heard that I've inspired or helped someone in some way. But 'my purpose in life is to inspire' isn't specific enough. I want to know what I'm all about. I already know somewhere inside of me, but I want to be able to articulate it, tap into it, act on it...
Im not going to come up with the answer immediately, and it'll always be evolving because we're all always constantly changing ... But I need to know.

If I've ever helped you / inspired you / made you think about things a different way, or anything at all, please let me know, whether on here or on formspring (formspring.me/sideara). Im not looking for compliments or flattery just real information that might help me find what I'm looking for!

I mean damn, I just looked @ my formspring and theres a plethora of information like that right there. So if youve ever sent me anything like that and youre reading this, thanks.

IMA FIGURE THIS OUT GUYS. PURPOSE.

GET ON YOURS.

ITS GONNA HELP.

ITS THREE IN THE MORNING AND I HAVE SO MUCH NIN3 SHIT TO DO AND IM IN NEW YORK AND YOU'LL BE HEARING ABOUT IT SOON

SIGN UP FOR THE NIN3 NEWS LETTER THIS MOMENT !


GOODNIGHT! LOVE YOU! THANKS!

xxxxxxxxx
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5 comments:

  1. Hey Sideara,
    I've read your post on your blog and I really want to give you an honest comment on this.
    You definitely inspired me. Not just with your fashion sense or your confidence (you really have one! ;)) but especially with your attitude. You do not just say or write "I don't care what people say" I think that you really mean it and there are not a lot of people who say this and actually MEAN it! (: I don't have to say that you're one of the most creative and impressive persons I've ever saw. I believe that you're a girl who is really focused on the things she wants to reach. You just must keep doing your thing. I really think that you're now at a point that shows if your talent, your creativity and your ambition will bring you far. And I believe that you will be a huge number in fashion AND acting! Hope I could help you a little

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    1. Hi :)
      This comment really means a lot to me. I will keep doing my thing, and you did help me a lot. Thanks so much for taking the time to say this. If we were together I'd give you a hug !!! Thanks again, a lot. Your support has always meant much to me.

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  2. All right, so on Tumblr there's not a lot of room for an answer so here's my explication of you being inspiring to me: you're only a year older than me, but I feel like you've done a lot more with that time than I have. So every time I see you post photo's of a new shoot, or talk about NIN3, or watch a Runaways episode or see absolutely anything else you've made, it reminds me that if I want to get something out there I must do it NOW. It reminds me that we only have little time here so I should get as much done as I possibly can. Not that quantity equals quality, but by producing a larger quantity I may hope to get to something that is quality.

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    1. I hope you send me a message on Tumblr anyways so I can follow you if I'm not already. Wow. Thanks so much. Your being motivate by my motivation motivates me, a lot (haha). Thanks a lot. Here's one of my favorite quotes that you might really like:

      "Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.” - Ira Glass

      Lots of love your way!

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    2. Aahh for some reason my name's not showing up properly, but it's meee Annie, anways I saw that quote, you posted it a while back I think? Anyway now mr Glass's words are in my mind pretty much daily. But yeah it's odd because in my head somehow when I first found you/your blog you seemed so cool and "internet famous" which sounds silly but I suppose you are - and yeah basically I feel like a fangirl haha but that's okay (:

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