Sunday, October 2, 2011

hello, life

I went through a really intense experience this weekend and came very close to losing my life. I havent even told all of my close friends about it, but I think that I should write a little bit about it on here. I hope my honesty will do something good?

San Diego's oceans have been affected by the red tide, an algae that causes the ocean to glow at night.

The red tide is one of my favorite things, and the last time it happened was 4 years ago. Your footsteps glow on the beach after you, if you get wet, your skin sparkles.. 

I got my friends together to enjoy the red tide. This is kind of hard to write about so I'm going to keep it short. Me and Devon were ready in bathing suits to experience the water.  I didnt think about needing a wetsuit or the possibility of hypothermia. It didn't cross my mind, I had been in the night before for a little bit and I felt fine. We swam out far enough to where the bigger waves were breaking, to experience the blue lightning in the water surrounding us. But I dont remember any of the night anymore due to the hypothermia. At some point, my body temperature dropped below its working temperature. My mind and my body stopped working correctly and needless to say this was a horrible experience for my friends as well as me. Luckily I was taken to the hospital in time, and Devon stayed with me all night. That's friendship.

I think the best thing you can do to value your life is to live in the moment. I think some people think it only means to take risks and discard the meaning behind the phrase. But to me, this means that every moment of the day- every person, and animal, you're with - you need to appreciate them. Be kind to the people that you love. If you're called out, apologize. If you want to call someone out for something, ask yourself if it's necessary and if it is be kind in the way you present it. And dont just respect others, but respect yourselves. If you're in a bad situation, please, ask for help. Appreciate your life and the skin you're in. Dont try to change yourself for other people, and dont try to change other people for yourself. I guess because I feel like I've been given another chance I want to pass on the feeling. I dont know what's going to change in my life but I feel it there. Sorry I'm being so cheesy but hey, I think near-death can do that to you.

I wouldnt be here without my friends. 
I love my friends, family, and you guys. I know less people have been checking up but for those of you who are its really cool :) Thanks for sticking with me, I'm glad I'm here to stick with you too haha.



  1. Agh, ive been following your blog for as long as i can remember and i have a sort of attachment to you. its like you are one of my friends.. which is kinda weird as you have no idea who i am but i just wanted to let you know that i genuinely hope you are okay, and that i love your blog, lookbook, style, youtube, everything :)

  2. To the girl with the curly hair - I wish I did know you, or at least your name, is it Taz?? Its amazing that youve stuck with me for this long and it really makes me feel special, thank you. I really appreciate all that!!

  3. i don't follow you as long as the girl with the curly hair, but i do follow you for a while now, and i can say that since the first time i came here i never stopped reading it, and the blog was really warm and open for me, like, everyone is excepted in this place. sounds cheesy too, i know.

    and as a person who saved someone from a coma, i can image how you must have felt for getting another chance, and how thin the edge is between dead and alive. i hope you'll keep this blog for another long time, and i hope you will get the life that you deserve, and according to me, thats a really beautiful and happy life!

  4. @moette- haha everything makes me cry recently but that mustered me summa them tears, thats all i really want is to make people feel accepted and happy with themselves. and im so sorry you had to go through whatever it was because that probably sucked and was super fucking scary. i hope your life is amazing too. thank you thank you!

  5. Yeah, I've been following you're blog since your piczo days haha and no my name's not Taz. That was a nickname I had when I was younger when I first set up my acount and I never got round to changing anything. My name is Bethan though oh and I'm really glad that you are okay!

  6. well thank you bethan i appreciate it