Tuesday, December 13, 2011

More l8r

Soo I've been stressing about college aps and all, I got to pretty much skip out on that last year but I'm experiencing it now! I have some shoots lined up and can't wait to knock them out, they're some weird ideas so I'll work hard and hope they work out.

I had to write a short 200-500 words essay answering this prompt: 
"Describe when and how you became interested in the particular major to which you are applying. Describe how this interest has manifested yourself in your daily life."

This is what I came up with:

I drew a blank when confronted with the question of how I became interested in design, so I consulted my old diaries for inspiration. As I started to read the entries, memories that were once faded flew back to me and became vivid. What littered almost every page of my diary was self hate and longing for friends and acceptance. I recalled waking up in the morning and dreading school, where I would inevitably be taunted. I tried desperately to choose an outfit that would be most appealing and acceptable to others. I remembered every day failing and being taunted for my strange style, height, and personality. Reading my diary, I became filled with anger until I realized, here I am in the present, and that was my past. I have already experienced deciding that I was tired of trying to appeal to a group of people that would never accept me, that I would start doing what I wanted and stop caring what others wanted of me. Today, the process of getting dressed no longer worries me; in fact it’s enjoyable. I do not wake up in the morning and wonder what to wear in order to be considered attractive or acceptable to others. I wake up, and the clothes I put on are the ones I want to wear. And as surprised as I still am every time it happens, I am constantly reminded that my personal style appeals to a great number of people.  My best friend and I have started a clothing label called NIN3. NIN3 is a collection of designs inspired by the number 9 containing vibrant, poppy imaging with an underlying dark ‘gothic’ vibe. I find the design process liberating because ideas are dreams, and I am able to draft designs and see them through into production. In other words, over and over again I am able to make my dreams reality. Reading this diary, I am reminded once again why I believe so strongly in the idea behind our brand. Clothes should be worn for confidence, and while confidence comes from the inside it is inevitably, and especially in this day and age, affected by the outside. I hope that everyone who wears any piece that I ever design buys it for his or herself and feels beautiful in it. I became interested in design when I became interested in my happiness and myself. Fashion helps me remember who I am, and how special of a gift it is that I know that.

I know I haven't been posting a lot, I promise that'll change and I wont revert back into my old ways. In my personal life a lot of shit has been happening that's got me really down right now and I want to take this time to plead with whoever is reading this.

Please. Take this seriously. Don't ever try heroin. It's not something you try once. It's not something you do on occasion. It's something that grabs ahold of you and completely ruins your fucking life and everyone's around you. It's disgusting, absolutely revolting, and even though there's nothing I can say that will change you if you're already tangled up in its mess, I'm asking of my readers to at least promise themselves to never try it and never let their friends.  It's fucked up and I hate it.

Take advantage of the time you have with everyone in your life. Hold your friends close and appreciate every second with them because you never know what could take them away from you. You never know what someone isn't telling you so always let them know that you'll be there for them. I can't stress that enough. Death is hard and I miss my friend

Love you guys,


  1. That was a beautiful essay.
    I'm sorry about your friend. I bet she was amazing. You're strong! Hang in there.
    Good luck with you applications as well, they'd be idiots to not accept you.

  2. theres so many things i want to say. first; good luck with college! your application essay was lovely, you have such a beautiful reasoning behind your passion. also, good luck with your label! i know you'll go far. next, i am sorry for the loss of your friend. i can't understand how terrible it must be to lose a loved one to something that could have been prevented. my thoughts are with you.
    last, i love your hair with all those colours! it looks amazing

  3. @emily thank you. i know its useless to correct but, he, and he was thank you again again and again. that was all quite nice of you to say.
    @taylah thank you so much for everything. you guys are both so nice and i appreciate you taking the time to say all that to me <3